Finding Grace in Tough Situations
Only now
exists. As much as I tend to reflect on the past, or worry about the future,
THIS MOMENT is our current reality. And it continues to shift.
I often ask
myself these questions:
“Why did I
do that?”
“Why didn’t
I do that?”
“What was I
thinking?”
“What’s
wrong with me?”
These are
unproductive and only spin me into a state of turmoil and despair.
Right now, I
have the opportunity to embrace this moment and to choose love. To love myself.
To forgive myself. To offer myself compassion. And to take loving, intentional
action in the here and now.
Often, I
find myself clouded by a whirlwind of nameless emotions. A state of overwhelm. When
people ask me how I’m feeling, I want to scream with every part of my being, “I
DON’T KNOW.”
It’s a new
practice for me to be aware of my feelings, and even moreso for me to name
them. For a long time, I talked myself down for this. “I should know what I’m
feeling.”
The truth
is, ALL I know right now, is whatever I am currently experiencing.
Sometimes there is a name for it. Sometimes, language falls short. Regardless,
I can choose to put myself down, or I can choose to lift myself up. It’s as
simple as that, but this is not an easy task.
Instead of
asking myself how I feel, since that is a question that puts my mind at point
blank, I’ve started to ask, “How can I love myself right now, at this moment?”
No matter
how much I preach self-love to others – no matter how much I practice
forgiveness, compassion, and outward love – at moments like these, what I am facing
is my relationship with myself. It has to start here.
Giving
myself grace means tapping into my inner self, to my higher power, to the
greater source of love in this mysterious experience we call living.
I can choose
to live, or I can choose to die.
The choice
is mine. The choice is yours. And it’s ok to go back and forth. The new now is
always waiting.
3/23/2020
3/23/2020
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