Finding Grace in Tough Situations
Only now exists. As much as I tend to reflect on the past, or worry about the future, THIS MOMENT is our current reality. And it continues to shift.
I often ask myself these questions:
“Why did I do that?”
“Why didn’t I do that?”
“What was I thinking?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
These are unproductive and only spin me into a state of turmoil and despair.
Right now, I have the opportunity to embrace this moment and to choose love. To love myself. To forgive myself. To offer myself compassion. And to take loving, intentional action in the here and now.
Often, I find myself clouded by a whirlwind of nameless emotions. A state of overwhelm. When people ask me how I’m feeling, I want to scream with every part of my being, “I DON’T KNOW.”
It’s a new practice for me to be aware of my feelings, and even moreso for me to name them. For a long time, I talked myself down for this. “I should know what I’m feeling.”
The truth is, ALL I know right now, is whatever I am currently experiencing. Sometimes there is a name for it. Sometimes, language falls short. Regardless, I can choose to put myself down, or I can choose to lift myself up. It’s as simple as that, but this is not an easy task.
Instead of asking myself how I feel, since that is a question that puts my mind at point blank, I’ve started to ask, “How can I love myself right now, at this moment?”
No matter how much I preach self-love to others – no matter how much I practice forgiveness, compassion, and outward love – at moments like these, what I am facing is my relationship with myself. It has to start here.
Giving myself grace means tapping into my inner self, to my higher power, to the greater source of love in this mysterious experience we call living.
I can choose to live, or I can choose to die.
The choice is mine. The choice is yours. And it’s ok to go back and forth. The new now is always waiting.