Identity Crisis

I’m having a bit
Of an identity crisis
I tried on many different outfits today
Nothing feels quite right
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I feel uncomfortable
In my body
Like it’s laughing at me
Waiting for me to take it off
I don’t know how
To present myself
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Dressing up
For a special event
Has my mind
Replaying old memories
Flashing with images
Of characters
I used to play
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This is my chance
To be the real me
The now me
And to practice
Radical self-compassion
Allowing myself
To be where I am
To trust
This body
And all its messages
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My body feels
Large
And stuck
And unloved
It is telling me to love it
To nurture it
To make decisions
That are nourishing
Create
Don’t destroy
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This is my last drink
Quite possibly ever
I’ve said that before
But this could really be it

8/25/2019