Letter to myself, pre-quarantine
Things are
about to change. You have been staying very busy and you know you’ve been
avoiding checking in with your feelings. That’s no longer going to be an option
soon. Embrace it.
You are so
concerned with the rest of humanity accessing their intuition that you have
forgotten about your Self. Your needs are important. Your wants matter. Your
existence is valid.
You feel
alone, you felt alone, and you’re going to feel alone. Lean into that. Because you
know, at the core of your being, that is not the truth. You know the truth. You
know you are not alone. You know you have spirit guides watching over you. You
know there is something greater stirring – not just within all of humanity –
but in YOU.
STOP TRYING
TO BE SO PERFECT.
You are not
perfect. But you are here. Let yourself be where you are. Let yourself struggle.
And let yourself move through it.
Depression
is going to hit. You don’t want it to. You are resisting. You are in denial.
But it’s part
of your human experience, and guess what? It’s not an accident. Nothing is.
This is the
time for you to rise. This is also the time for you to fall.
Get.
Back.
Up.
Listen to
your own words. Find what sets your soul on fire.
You rely on
validation from others. You rely on physical interaction. You rely on intimacy
and touch and energy.
That’s ok,
but it’s not something that will always be readily available. What will be
readily available? Your relationship with yourself. Your connection to spirit.
Tap into source. Tap into your emotions. There are messages there that you need
to hear, even if you find it difficult to translate them.
Let it be.
Ground yourself. Go the fuck outside. Ok? Stop isolating. This is not an excuse
to hide. This is not a time to wallow in self-pity.
You have a
lot to be proud of. A lot to be grateful for. You are sober. Did you read that?
YOU ARE SOBER. In another time, you would not have been willing to face this
uncertainty without an escape. You are brave. You are doing the best you can.
My advice for
you is this: Share your heart. Speak your truth. Embrace the uncertainty.
Release control. Find your flow by taking one moment at a time.
You know what
you’re doing. You are aware of what brings your energy down and what lifts you
up. You are not going to be perfect at coordinating this. You are being a human
right now! Stop resisting that.
Part of your
role in this time is to relate and connect to what others are experiencing.
This is a gift. You are not above this present reality, but you and all of your
fellow beings are eternally beyond it.
Don’t be
afraid to be positive. Don’t be afraid to be depressed. There is no one right
path for you. Just take the next right step. And when you stumble, when you
fall, when you notice a misstep, forgive yourself. It’s ok. You are aware. You
are noticing. You are here.
YOU ARE ACTUALLY
HERE FOR THIS.
One year
ago, you wouldn’t have been. Think what a huge accomplishment that is.
Don’t get
full of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, either.
You didn’t
do this alone. And you are going to feel so alone. You hate this feeling. You don’t
want it to exist. But it does. As you remember and forget, as you rise and
fall, as you try and fail, as you ebb and flow – breathe. That’s all you have
to do.
Practice
conscious living. Connect with others. Make a list of people who make you feel
like yourself. Notice the moments you feel most in tune. Notice what makes you
love yourself. Do more of that. Connect more with that. Be more of that. You
are your highest self, you are connected to source; you are not separate from
suffering, nor are you separate from peace. The duality of this world is part of
your experience. You are not meant to permanently rise above it – yet.
You will
feel the urge to binge eat. You will feel the urge to pick your face. You will
feel the urge to reach out to past connections to fill the void. You will not
be perfect. But your path is perfect. This is a perfect learning opportunity
for you to have a divine experience. Don’t fight it. Stop trying to control
everything.
What you can
control is moving your body, going outside, and talking. Talk to yourself. Talk
to your god. Talk to your friends. Talk to the internet. Talk to the dogs. Talk
to the wall. Don’t hold it in.
I love you.
I really do. Just as you are. I know you’re afraid of failure, rejection,
abandonment, and of not being enough. But you are enough. You are exactly who
you are supposed to be. Keep being you. Keep finding your light. Keep experiencing
whatever the present moment presents. Be here now. I love you.
Comments
Post a Comment