Farewell to my 20s

I woke up this morning
To a bathroom full of balloons
The mirror covered with words
The living room dancing with streamers
I wandered through my hurt

A salty tear
Rolled down my cheek
I gasped in to take
New breath
I paced, I paused
Full of gratitude
Yet broken, as well
I confess

My 20s are behind me
They were dark
And they were light
They were flawed
They were full
They were something
They are gone

What’s not gone
Are the lessons
I’ve learned
The takeaways
I kept
The hugs
That linger on

I traveled across
The country
Las Vegas, LA, New York
I ventured beyond
The borders
Canada, Mexico, my heart

I worked
A number of jobs
That’s really too high
To count

I found
Myself in hiding
I found
Myself out loud

More than all the jobs
And places that I’ve seen
Rests a sense of peacefulness
I rarely ever glean

I was an alcoholic
I was divorced
I was a wife
I became an aunt
You see
I missed
A lot of life

What stays
Beyond this notion
Is love
That lasts forever
A love
I can’t forget

What stays
Is not feelings
Or faces
What stays
Is forgiveness
And grace
What stays
I don’t have to hold onto
What stays
Is still coming
Into place

I’m here
Right now
With courage
To face
The great unknown

I’m here
Right now
I’m smiling
I cry
I break, I rebound

My 20s were not easy
I failed to love myself
I failed
I sought perfection
I succeeded
In what was found

A love that lasts forever
A love that never fades
A love I have now
For myself
A love that others
Freely gave

I wouldn’t be here
Without my friends
My family
My exes
My cats

I wouldn’t be here
Without my god
Which words
Can hardly

I’m here right now
I’m alive somehow
I’m 30
I’m young
I’m grown

I’ll hold onto this feeling
Where I’m ready to release
What I’ve known

My biggest intention
Is bravery
To step forward
When I cannot see
The plans the universe
Has for me
The divinity in you
And in we

I’m not defined by money
I’m not defined by work
I’m not defined by memories
My ups and downs
Have worth

In the end
It’s just the beginning
In the beginning
It’s also the end
The end of the moments behind me
The opportunity for rebirth

I made a little list
Of silly words I learned:
Corn maze
No stones unturned


My own worst enemy
Lost confidence

This time on earth
Is dark and light
It’s both
It’s not about me

My path as a human
Surprises me
And with that
I choose to proceed

My 30s are just a number
But this day begins anew
I have another chance today
To fight, to seek my truth

This day is given to all of us
We have another go
This day is all we have
Right now
Let’s choose
To love, to be, to grow



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