Choices

Smash a banana
On somebody’s foot
I dare you
 
He used to be silly
He used to be less —
Less fake
Less sick
Less mess
Less stress
 
When his sibling
Was an exhibitionist

And only ant piles
Made him itch
 
When coffee
Was still just an option
 
When eggs and cheese
Felt like bliss
 
When he hid in the bathroom
And walked home from school
 
And listened to Rogue Wave
When the Texas air felt cool
 
When he read teen magazines
On the phone with his friend
 
When his crushes
Didn’t crush him
 
When he wasn’t
A sin
 
Sin
Is his least favorite word
In the human vocabulary
 
God
And Bible
And pray
Hurt, too
 
Smash a banana
On somebody’s foot
I dare you
 
He can’t go back
But he can try be
 
A version of himself
That he likes when he sees
 
When the light in his eyes
And the breath in his chest
Are enough
 
When he wants to be awake
More than being asleep

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